I need to have a “Bum-O-Scope,”
The camera will go up my rear,
It's liable to be quite painful,
At least that's what I now fear.
At least I’ll have some painkillers,
So, I won't be worse for wear,
I hope they use plenty of lube,
Or my bum-hole might start to tear.
Now I must stay calm and quiet,
As my Bum gets penetrated,
I try to keep a steady grin,
Anaesthetics are overrated.
They give me an open gown,
The reason it seems quite clear,
Once I have it on my back,
I'll be displaying my rear.
They think something is amiss,
It's deep within my gut,
Okay the truth is I collapsed,
With a large dildo up my butt.
Wasn't me that put it there,
No! That was my wife,
Maybe she saw on Pornhub,
How to spice up the sex-life.
She crept upon me quietly,
As I lay sound asleep,
Without even a warning,
She rammed it in real deep.
I woke up from the shock,
Fearing dire mortal harm,
She stuffed it in twice more,
Hoping that third time’s the charm.
She surveyed her handiwork,
Without a trace of guilt,
Then she took a firm grip,
And rammed to the hilt!
As she stood there and laughed,
Then she began to gloat,
It's hard to shout at someone,
With your appendix in your throat.
Why did I deserve this?
I wondered what I'd done,
Maybe as we were roaring drunk,
My thing had slipped up her bum.
Possibly some man-hater,
You find them on YouTube,
Advising naive Women,
There's really no need for lube.
The doctor checks my chart,
Adjusts the screen with care;
I lie still and count the tiles,
Pretending I’m unaware.
They say, “Everything looks fine,”
And I sigh with relief;
No more awkward poking around,
No more medical grief.
I take my first cautious steps,
My belly is full of air,
I play a trumpet solo,
When I get out my chair.
As I walk with great care,
And I try not to fart,
I await with much concern,
To hear what's on my chart.
The Doctor disapproves,
He says I'm lacking class,
I bet he's found, far, far worse,
Jammed up somebody’s Ass.
Now I'm free to go home,
And still, I toot like a horn,
It's the last time that I let my wife
Watch too much Internet Porn.
