I believe that marital intimacy,
When it occurs between you and me,
Must be conducted in privacy,
Take heed! I’m strictly missionary,
Some think I am far too uptight,
They say, “I am a bit of a prude”,
I wear that distinction with pride;
My cherished wife I’ve never seen nude,
We prepare to retire to our bed,
My wife combs out golden locks,
I retain a modicum of decency
As I climb into bed wearing socks,
The congress of husband and wife,
Fuelling our empire’s great nation,
The church says, “Is only to start life”,
Our duty, fulfilled by creation,
While you’re my treasure, my dear,
Mayhap our thoughts turn to sin,
As the church forbids carnal pleasure,
We’ll imbibe some medicinal gin,
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